My First Semester has finished and so have my holidays. I'm eagerly awaiting the beginning of next semester.

The first semester was the best time i've had in my life for a very, very long time. It broke me out of a very damaging rut i was stuck in emotionally, mentally and physically. I made new friends, developed my skills, enjoyed my study and got distinctions and high credits all semester. That semester was also great along the lines of personal growth. I had the opportunity to further the healing and maturing inside. A number of things happened last year which made me realise i never left my depression, and since then i've been working on that. I've learnt a lot of lessons, and matured a lot more than where i was since January. I still wonder what the point is sometimes. 8 years is a long time to recover from.

But personal growth aside, the semester was great. I had a number of crushes, some which went somewhere (wink wink) some which didn't. In the end i'm on my own now, but that isn't so bad, go with the flow i say! . Also, i spent many nights in the city with friends eating out. A lot of highlights of the semester are the outings i've had telling jokes and drinking beer

Then the holidays began, and everything fell apart.

Everything seemed to go wrong. Drama after drama with friends (which have resolved now, but gave me hell at the time), a few bad desicions as well, sick relatives... I can keep going... All in all they left me so depressed i felt the same way i felt around this exact time last year. For the past 6 weeks i've stayed home as often as i can, stewing in my own feelings. At the same time, i've vented a lot of it out, and in essence, practically everything going wrong was one of the most fortunate circumstances to occur - something at the complete opposite of the semester provided that same opportunity and once again, i'm feeling much better than where i left off. It's a massive uphill battle, but i'll get there. Maybe councilling or going back on meds will help, but i have my doubts.

Being almost broke it looks like uni books this semester are going to come second hand. Which is too bad (but a smart desicion), i do like new glossy books to pour through, but some of those books still in good condition are going to be pawned off for the same price (if not a little more) than the books required this semester. Sociolinguistics, a third year subject, will be a fun challenge. I look forward to how difficult a subject it'll be. Funnily enough, after looking through the Unit Outline for my Chinese 102 class, i know half of the content already. Over the course of the holidays a friend who speaks Mandarin fluently has been talking with me on MSN in (most of the time) Chinese only. So when it comes to the written characters i've learnt about 85 new characters, at least half of which are in this semesters study.

This calls for:

I don't submit often, i know. I'm working on a few pieces of writing here and there, but i'm also outlining and writing ideas for a novel. I would be writing more, but i'll come clean and say i've been too depressed to do anything other than play computer games (Supreme Commander ). That's no cause for sympathy, hugs are great but not for this Things are working out and changing. I promise new pieces, this semester (beginning tomorrow!) will be a good one

All my hugs to for this subscription. If her avatar doesn't make you hungry, her poetry and prose will engage you. So click on her avatar now!

I know basically no one reads this, but it's great to keep a little timeline of events somewhere. I'll be surprised if a get a comment on this haha.

Hope you're all well. And here's to optimisim!